Monday, September 10, 2012

Vicious Kiss -1995- (aka Fauxtal Attraction)

I can't decide whether or not the acting in this movie is on purpose... Angela (Monique Parent) offers to share her money, home and bed with Jason (Danny Fendley) so many times in one scene I think the writers must have ran out of Ideas for Dialogue. Not to mention the fact that the movie has no shame in ripping of Fatal Attraction. It even comes right out and says it when Lisa (Margaux Hemmingway) asks Jason if Angela is has a "fatal attraction" for him. Incidently, as much as I love Angela's campy femme fatale, I have to hand it to Margaux. Her performance had such a charming honesty that made it stick with me despite the quality of the material. I felt sorry for her when the movie needed me to, and it felt so genuine when she said "I've never held ten thousand dollars...I want to see was it feels like." I also find it amusing that Angela shares the same name as Sleepaway Camp's twisted sister. I better stop before I figure out what else it rips off. For all it's blatant rip-offsploitationess, it is entertaining in a remarkably cheesy way.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

In response to FF13-2


I have read all the articles on this game and hope that it gets delayed, if not canned outright. From the information trickling out, I've gleaned that square enix's strategy is to take a ball of turds and glob on a bunch more turds that are slightly more fresh. FF13 was base and uninspired. for me, the characters were just amalgamations of previous character types (i.e, Lightning= cloud's inner self with an emo squall coating. Vanille= yuffie + Selphie) you might argue that all the games since ff6 or seven has done this, but until ff13 I feel that most of those characters could stand alone as their own characters. ff13 is a game that lacks it's own identity.

I also hated the game for forcing me to run around in a straight line with little to no deviation until Gran pulse. even then, it was just one room a handful of dead end branches and lackluster, re spawning enemies that had the same movement pattern every time. From the information about the new game, they have tried to remedy this by adding more branches. Essentially nothing has really changed except for more dead-end splits to explore. even with the addition of quests (or the promise of DLC) I cant help but think that it will still end of like dragon age 2 which has been criticized for the repetitiveness of it's environments and mission structure. historically, most of the final fantasy games have been on some sort of rails but they did a much better job at cloaking that fact by using open world maps and a generous sprinkling of rewards for going of the beaten track. FF13 (and ff13-2 by the look of it) don't do this at all, instead providing you with what you need when you need it.this limits the need (or ability) to grind which is a sin in jrpg's. You can't even max your characters until you beat the game and reload from the final save point. without additional endings, this feature is a pretty big nail in ff13's coffin.

As for the battle system, I don't care how many reviewers call it "revolutionary" or "genius", it is oversimplified and pedestrian. for a series with innovations such as gambits (portable and interchangeable tactics)and job system, the paradigm shift is a weak and flimsy battle mode. To me, paradigm shift takes you away from the action and turns each battle into a cut scene. I need more than this to keep me entertained, or even interested. "auto-battle" is a command which should NEVER be included as your default attack button. It should only be used as a means to mow through weaker enemies for exp. Leveling is a complete joke, and customization is almost discouraged from the amount of "crystarium points" it required for the higher level abilities. essentially, It was like playing a final fantasy that made cumbersome and even counter-productive to grind. when I'm spending forty plus hours with characters, I need more control. what ever happened to "attack, magic, item, defend"? it worked for countless adventures I'd rather experience again then this one. Every time I've tried for a subsequent play through. I run down a hall, fight one battle and then switch the game off, and go back to playing demons souls. the process takes less than five minutes. In the new entry they have added quicktime button mashing events in battle as well as a ridiculous "Mog clock" in the form of a moogle that follows you around. the problem is the shallow battle system itself, not the lack of extraneous features that only add visual flair.Also, American audiences aren't as captivated by "cutesy" things like moogles. though a series signature creature, it's saccharin "aww" factor will not be a selling point, and perhaps even a detraction from the overall quality of the game. last remnant had a system similar to this and it did actually work well (except for the god-awful load times before battle.)quick time button pressing events have also been criticized heavily by gamers and critics alike. why on earth would you add these to your in-battle tactics? Finally, summoning is a key element to most titles and adds a level of strategy insofar as choosing who will summon and who wont. summons have ranged in ability from attacking, to support (carbuncle's ruby light in FF8) and recovery. when you are limited to one summon per battle, and only one character able to summon it kills the usefulness of being able to wield such power at all. from what I've seen, NONE of these issues have actually been effectively dealt with.


One of the joys of playing final fantasy is the world and peoples you get to see and converse with. using the excuse "our heroes are on the run" is not valid. Cloud and his band were fleeing Shinra and he still got to talk to people.
How can I be immersed in a world when they forcibly put a wall between me and the story? sometimes something as simple as a conversation with an npc can open your eyes to the social climate of the universe you inhabit.FF13 claimed to have these conversations but were usually just snippets of speech that triggered when you got close enough. I never felt like part of anything, just a passerby eavesdropping. the information given during these "exchanges" is seldom even relevant to the actual progression of the story. shopping in various towns gives a game a sense of variety, not being able to get certain items from certain shops gives the illusion of inclusion. you feel more involved if you have to actually go to rocket town to get a specific weapon because they don't carry it in cosmo canyon. shopping at save points makes me feel like I'm playing something like borderlands, rather than a final fantasy game.

the storyline itself was pretty lacking, the characters themselves don't even know what's going on half of the time. I'll admit that gods playing with humans like toys is interesting, but we've seen it before and done better (i.e, dissidia: final fantasy)and that was a brawler. ff13 felt like the prologue to something grander and it was curtains before I could get any satisfying resolution. the story of ff13-2 seems to close to that of ff10-2 wherein you're essentially just looking for the main character from the first game. Yawn.Cocoon and Gran pulse weren't developed enough as standalone environments for me to care what happens to them next. FF13-2 also doesn't seem to really justify any of the events, merely tack on some marginally retooled game play to remedy flagging sales numbers. I doubt there is much redemption to be found in the upcoming sequel unless it is either delayed, or canceled until it can be redone to match the quality and experience of it's many more successful predecessors.

This is a trend that scares the beejesus out of me. It is a harbinger of the death of console jrpg's. this is disconcerting because they aren't inferior games, just a different type of rpg experience. Many people look to the final fantasy series to be a beacon of quality. If you're playing a final fantasy game, you typically know you're in good hands.the latest entry (and it's mmo counterpart) are examples of how NOT to evolve the genre, especially when Atlus has a strong stable of games (shin megami/megami tensei/ Persona/ demons souls) that are getting tons of attention from the jrpg crowd. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you think the characters would look ridiculous in hidef if they're not leaping around the screen all the time. I'll take characters that are bound by gravity if the experience is solid enough.It is also pretty disturbing that Game Informer (my former top choice in gaming info) can't simply admit that ff13 and all related products don't just fall short, but miss the target completely. Perpetuating all this hype will sell a million copies, but those games will quickly be cashed in for store credit. just look at the original, within three or four months of it's release I saw it back on store shelves with a pre-owned sticker and a thirty-dollar price tag.

I will not be first in line, or even twentieth for this installment of one of my favorite series of all time. dumbing it down will draw in more buyers, but who are these gamers? many of them are more action-oriented people who will be taken in by the graphics, but still not enjoy the core experience. so what's left for the final fantasy faithful? a bluray disc chock-full of pablum that is unacceptable and in some cases, repellent. I don't understand Squenix's reluctance to re-release a polished version of FF7. I know it's been debated again and again, but it's clear they are running out of ideas. Metal gear solid enjoyed much success when it got a revamp in the form of the twin snakes as did the original resident evil. These were both ff7 era releases that because of the reboots have found even more of an audience. the portable outing, peace walker is even being given an HD treatment and a console release (I couldn't be happier about this)which will no doubt bring many more gamers into the fold for the upcoming MGS featuring Raiden.True, the game is dated but if they were to simply have the characters fight and miss until you issued a command could remedy the issues of having stationary models on screen while allowing the traditional structure to remain intact. This post is not a plea for FF7 again, but you have to admit it would be pretty cool. FF7 was also the game that brought PSone era gamers to the series. I know it was the first game I owned on Playstation and the reason I dove into square's back catalog of games. It could be the silver bullet that drags Ps3 gamers back to their choccobo raising roots.

Nice try Squenix, but I've had my fill of FF13. It would have to be a completely different game to get my dollar.



(please excuse the typo's. I am too lazy to fix them on forum posts :) )

My B-movie music video

So here's what happens when I get bored. enjoy:) yes it's me and yes, I licked the toilet for real.

Friday, April 1, 2011

NEW AMV!!!!

I did another music video today. I finally made one for Shaun of the Dead. It was about damn time:)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Zombie Dump:)

Itchy..taSty... .






Some random artwork.




Came across some old sketches of mine. Always good for a chuckle:)